


Bound

by eurywrites



Category: D. Gray-man
Genre: Allen Walker - Freeform, Arekan, DGM, Kanda Yuu - Freeform, M/M, Yullen, dgm fanfiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 16:17:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14336298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eurywrites/pseuds/eurywrites
Summary: Attachments are hard to form at The Order. But for Allen Walker, his boyish charm and pale features make him stand out, and soon everyone has become enamored with the young exorcist. Well, everyone except a certain grumpy, long-haired swordsman. The same one that somehow managed to keep him from exploding after a mission gone wrong, behavior that is unusual for the both of them. For Allen, it means everything. For Kanda? "Who knows?" Allen says, his breaths coming out shaky. His usual smile is long gone. "Who knows if you don't tell me?"





	Bound

**Author's Note:**

> Based on my previous work reverence: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7674205  
> I’ve been thinking about this story for a while, so I decided to write a continuation of sorts. I hope you guys like it! I’ll be back soon enough with another part to this. 
> 
> I've always secretly wanted to write Allen and Kanda the way I see their relationship, and with the new chapter coming out soon I figured what better time to do it than now? Whether or not it results in a platonic or romantic thing remains to be revealed as the story progresses. Fair warning, it might be a little painful but I promise it will all be worth it! 
> 
> Before I go, I just wanted to thank you guys for all your support on that piece, as it's probably my best one and so this is more or less a 'thank you' work mixed in with things I've always wanted to make clear about their relationship on and off the battlefield. You will see more characters later on, so stay tuned for that. Have a great week!

The memory never fades, even as time passes and other missions are taken on. They are separated for a few, but even as time continues to try the pale exorcist, he finds himself returning to the thought of Kanda in those brief moments on the train. And each time, it’s hard for Allen to hide his smile. The feeling welling up inside him is strong enough to brighten his tired eyes. 

He is not sure what is happening to him, but the shift in his moods are clear, and more often than not, he hides behind his normally genuine smile. But when late becomes early and the birds begin to sing, his face remains placid, his tongue behind his teeth. The only noise he hears is the wind combing through the branches of the trees outside his window. There is some comfort in being able to feel this way in his own private space.

This morning, joy is what replaces this, just long enough to keep him motivated to shower. As he gathers his belongings, he remembers the way Kanda’s hands felt against his as he tended to his wound. The set look on his face, a knowing. More sure of what he was doing than anyone else in that room.

If he’s being honest, it took him by surprise. Of all the places to demonstrate any shred of compassion Kanda could have for the boy, he chose that moment. A moment where he was vulnerable and slipping in front of various members of The Order; a moment where he was that close to letting them know what really lurked beneath the surface of his polite, formal image. Maybe the dark haired man didn’t know this, or maybe he did, but the bottom line is his actions helped prevent that outburst. He stopped Allen from proving he could be much, much worse than any of them expected.

What baffles Allen is how? How could he feel him from all the way across the room, sending him right beside the younger exorcist to handle the situation. But then, the answer comes to him just as quickly as the question appeared in his mind. In the months they’d known each other, they had the most contact. Even as they fought, they traded looks, felt the weight behind each punch, each stare. They had the most time to learn each other’s body language. The shift in their moods, the will they exhibited on the battlefield to complete the mission. They’d memorized parts of each other without even knowing that’s what it was. 

There is only one explanation for what Kanda did, and the white haired boy cracks a smile at the thought of it. Before he knows it, the thrilling happiness he felt before moves through him all over again. 

Moments later, he lets out a breath, his fingers clenched around the doorknob. A sudden shyness takes him over when he realizes he’ll be exiting the privacy of his room into the public. It’s a quick, short burst of panic that keeps him inside just a few minutes longer. He thinks about the mission, about how hard it hit him when they failed to secure the innocence. It wasn’t just that they failed as a group, but he failed them, and with the idea so fresh in his mind, he is not sure how anyone can look at him after the way he acted. He wouldn’t even sit near them.

The moment they got off, he fled, leaving nothing but air between him and his teammates. 

It’s not like this is the first time he’s failed a mission. It’s just that now, that number is growing, and he wonders where the rest of his life will go if he keeps doing this. Is he truly fulfilling his purpose by being part of The Order for this long? Does it make a difference if failure is so imminent? 

A sharp pain stabs at his temples the moment these questions begin to pile up, and he feels a strong urge to climb back in his bed and forget showering. Forget being alive. Forget it. 

“No, I said I would,” he says, an edge in his voice, and immediately feels guilty for how bad he wants to give into this urge. He forces himself to open the door, walks straight to the bathhouse without even pausing to say hi to Lavi and Lenalee on the way. 

Once in the comfort of the hygienic space, he feels relief wash over him, and takes a deep breath. Back against the wall, his eyes slip shut, blocking out the worried looks on his exorcist friend’s faces. Soap and steam fill his nostrils, and he feels a small bit of that earlier feeling. Joy. Every breath feels like walking through a garden, or peering out the window to see clear blue skies. 

He forgets his eyes are shut until he hears a noise--the sound of sandals scraping against the floor. His eyes snap open, and when they do, the feeling comes back more intensely than he felt it that entire morning. 

Jet black hair slicked back, streaks of it falling around his shoulders. His cheeks are flushed warm against his olive skin. Silver eyes scan every shadow curving around his muscles as he moves a towel through his hair, behind his ears. His usual scowl has been replaced with a neutral, remote expression that indicates his mind is far from where he and Allen both stand. Allen swallows. His throat is dry, so his mouth was open the entire time he was taking Kanda in. 

Kanda sees Allen in his peripheral and stops, turning to look at him. The change in his expression is quick, and before he knows it the same line across his mouth appears, pulling down at the edges just slightly. Allen pushes his back off the door, a smile spreading slowly across his face. It’s one of amusement, and he sees it again for the thousandth time that morning: Kanda’s fingers brushing across his palm, the tug of the cloth coming free from his hands as it’s being replaced. 

The taller man does not acknowledge such childish behavior. Instead, he wraps his towel around his shoulders, hair falling behind it. Any other time, this might go completely over Kanda’s head and make him react aggressively, but this time he avoids that. Instead he just shakes his head, dismissing any meaning Allen may have assigned to his actions. 

Allen sees this and his smile only brightens--if that’s possible. Kanda feels the familiar fire in his belly from their encounters, only this time it is not out of anger. It is a stronger, much more intimidating feeling, but he is no stranger to Allen and has no time to hide behind something like this, however new it may be to him. 

Allen carries on, humming to himself. His open display of joy is no accident, especially since Kanda is the only one here to witness it. The older exorcist is not going to ask him if he’s okay, nor will he seek minute details about how he is processing their recent failure. But in the privacy of his own mind, he can admit that seeing a smile on his face is better than what he saw on the train ride back. 

“Get over it,” he says, before leaving the boy to complete his morning routine.


End file.
